


Ross Geller Effect

by Erised1186



Series: Smart Lucifer [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Tumblr: luciferprompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26640139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erised1186/pseuds/Erised1186
Summary: Tumblr prompt: I d like to see a piece that shows how smart lucifer is maybe a case with a scientist or mathematician she he solves equations or talks intelligently about it which blow Chloe s mind and makes her so aroused.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Smart Lucifer [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970212
Comments: 36
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set around High School Poppycock I did take one astronomy class in college most of these facts come from google, wiki, and an article on the NASA website. I own none of them and make no profits from this fanfiction. Also, I mean no disrespect towards Neil who is probably much smarter than I. Even if he did take part in ruining mvemjsunp mnemonic for me. Apparently, I am still mad at Pluto not being a planet. Oh, and I love both deep dish and pineapple on pizza! I do not stand behind the science in this. Mostly gibberish. I did write this quickly might be making grammatical edits on it.

Lucifer arrived at the crime scene at a small house that had 1 bedroom, 1 study and a living room dining room combo. The study was full of books, notes and journals it was very messy. 

Chloe was at the house talking to the pizza guy that found the body. “Charlie Conner’s had a standing order every Wednesday at 7PM, Deep Dish Sausage, bacon, and Pineapple. If I was too late or early no tip. He would check it too. Nice guy.”

“Pineapple on a pizza? Now that should be a crime.” Lucifer said.

“Do you know what he was working on? This looks advanced,” asked Ella.  
  


“Nope. Can I go?” Pizza guy asked.

“Yes. Just give your contact info to the officer over there,” Chloe said.

“And leave the pizza. It’s evidence.” Lucifer said.

“Really? Okay.” The pizza guy left the box.

Lucifer and Ella helped themselves to a slice. Chloe looked on disapprovingly.

“What it is not really evidence,” argued Ella.

“Isn’t it a sin to waste food?” Lucifer added.

Ella nodded taking a bite.

“I just don’t get this math.” Chloe said to Ella.

“It’s over my head,” Ella said.

Lucifer took a bite of pizza looking at the math for the first time.

“Does your spawn still want to be the President of Mars detective?” Lucifer asked randomly.

“She still dreams of Mars. Wants a telescope for Christmas. Why?” Chloe asked.

“Let me acquire one. I know a guy that owes me a favor that makes the best.”

“Sure, Lucifer but continue.” Chloe said.

“This is the math that will get her there. You see Mars is 250 million miles away from the Earth (he points to a number), or 1,000 times further into space than the Moon or a million times further into space than the space station. Because the gravity is so much less and the speed you need to get into orbit around the Moon so less than it is from the Earth. Mars is intermediate between the Earth and Moon so it's going to be easier to get off of than Earth but harder to get off of than Mars. One of the things he was looking at is the chief weight that they would have to bring from Earth. If you did a Mars trip the way they did the Moon trip would be the rocket propellant you need to take off of Mars. But it would be too heavy to haul all that stuff out of the Earth's gravity to send it off to Mars, land it softly on Mars, and then you can burn it to get off of Mars, which is totally wasteful because the amount of propellant you need to move that propellant is going to be, you know, an aircraft carrier's worth of rocket fuel taking off from Earth and it's just absurd and they can't build anything that big. So, he was working on a new way to make rocket propellant, for the return trip, on Mars. His math here world collect carbon dioxide and water vapor from Mars' atmosphere, it has some of both. He found a way to turn that into methane and liquid oxygen, which are dandy rocket propellants. How familiar are you with that term right there **ISRU**? See that part of the equation is Sabatier reaction.” Lucifer points to3Fe2O3 + H2 →2Fe3O4 + H2O 3Fe2O3 + CO →2Fe3O4 + CO2.

Every cop in the room stopped what they were doing to listen to Lucifer’s explanation. Ella looks impressed. Chloe’s look was a look between surprise and arousal.

“ISRU is that like when Spock used red matter was intended to create a strategically placed black hole to thwart a Super Nova to save Romulus?” Ella said.

“Didn’t he fail Miss Lopez?” Lucifer started watching Star Trek partly out of curiosity, partly to have something else to talk to Ella about (after Rae-Rae’s encouragement) and partly because Ella knew a language he didn’t and that was unheard of!

“I knew you were a closeted Trekkie and nerd! His mission was too late for Romulus but it did work and saved numerous other worlds,” Ella defended.

“Correct, it is a use what you have available type of formula,” Lucifer agreed.

“How did you know all of that? Could he have been killed for this?” Asked Chloe.

“Space is money. You humans love your money. I've been around I like to read, ” Lucifer explained.

“He was supposed to be at Griffith observatory tomorrow night. It is on his calendar. Can you come so we can talk to his coworkers and bosses? You can obviously handle the science stuff.”

“Of course. However, I was planning on going tonight. I am invited to a fundraiser gala there. Care to join me detective? We can snoop around. Be my plus one?”

“Sure! I can have Dan take Trixie tonight. Should be fun.” Chloe said for some unknown reason blushing.

“AW you guys are going on a date!” Ella said.

“Not a date,” Lucifer said.

Chloe looked disappointed before she could stop herself. She would be lying to herself if she hadn’t been thinking about a relationship with him since he became her prom date and made the night absolutely magical.

Lucifer added, “If I was fortunate enough to go on a first date with you, Detective I would take you to the moon because not even Paris would be good enough.”

Chloe smiled and Ella cooed.

“Well, we should get ready. I can pick you up at 7?” Lucifer said. Chloe nodded eyes not leaving Lucifer’s behind until he left.

“Aww you like him! It’s the Ross Geller effect. How else would you explains all his weddings?”

* * *

If Chloe was aroused with him at the crime scene than it turned into pure lust by the end of night. Lucifer had talked to everyone there and was on a first name basis with most. He spoke in multiple languages switching effortlessly between Russian, Spanish, Italian and a few Chloe didn’t recognize. Each time it brought Chloe closer to him. She loved hearing him introduce her in multiple languages. In one he said gārufurendodearu and made a mental note to look it up. Despite not knowing what he was saying she can tell he was introducing her as his date and judging by looks she was getting very flattering. He was just as polite to the wait staff as he was the diplomats.

Lucifer got in a heated argument with Tyson about Pluto of all things and defending it as a planet. Chloe couldn’t remember him being that passionate about anything before and it was hot.

“Pluto active geology and dynamism is what allows for it to have an interior ocean, a multilayered atmosphere, organic compounds and evidence of ancient lakes and multiple moons.” It was personal, Lucifer thought. It was a project that he and his twin worked on together. It was a different time. He had a job a purpose. His family still got along. Pluto meant a lot to him. Pluto meant happier times.

He whispered added in Chloe’s ear, “He is going to argue gravity.”

“A planet has to be large enough that over time it'll clear this cloud away, with the debris coalescing to the planet due to the force of the object's gravity. It is a nice comet.”

“Just because it’s small doesn’t mean it’s not mighty! The debris haven’t knocked it out of orbit yet. Perhaps the only planet more geographically complex is Earth. You imbecile!”.” Lucifer left to cool off and get a drink. Many people applauded him as he exited Chloe right behind him.

“Okay is there somewhere we can be alone?” Chloe asked leaning into him seductively.

“Why detective I didn’t know that you would be one to date a professor.” Lucifer teased but took her to the planetarium in the basement floor. That was the 2nd biggest the Gala was be hosted in the main area and on the roof. He turned on the planetarium and grabbed a blanket and set it down. 

“See that group of stars right there that form a W it’s Cassiopeiawas the wife of King Cepheus of Ethiopia. Cepheus turned to an oracle for help and the oracle told him that, in order to appease Poseidon, he and **Cassiopeia** had to sacrifice their daughter Andromeda to the sea monster. Well she wouldn’t have it and enraged the Greek God Poseidon with the boast that her daughter Andromeda was more beautiful than the Nereids or, alternatively, that she herself was more beautiful than the sea nymphs. Well, he didn’t appreciate it but Pegasus…”

Lucifer didn’t continue as Chloe was suddenly on top of him.

“Are you sure?” Lucifer asked.

Chloe didn’t respond instead she removed her dress – conveniently stretchy and started on Lucifer’s belt. 

“You wear too many clothes! Too many buttons.” Chloe complained working on his vest. Lucifer assisted her taking off his suit coat and vest then finally his shirt.

“You take the lead Chloe whatever you desire.” Lucifer started to unhook her bra slowly as if fearful she might change her mind suddenly.

“I desire you! All of you.” Chloe said lowering his pants.

Chloe was moving a little faster fear of getting caught making her excited it helped that Lucifer knew what he was doing. By the time he removed her underwear she was already wet enough to take all of him. After they both finished they stayed in each other’s arms content to be close both very satisfied.

* * *

They never did make it back to the party. In fact, it was when they were leaving the building when they got the break in the case. They walked past the janitors closet with one name on the door Chuckie Conners. The two shared a surprised look.

“It can’t be,” Chloe said.

“It’s unlocked,” Lucifer said opening the once locked door.

They walked in the tiny office/janitor’s closet. It looked like someone was looking for something. Chloe and Lucifer looked around the room for clues. It was by accident when Lucifer picked up a fallen book that he noticed a loose floor board. He brought it to Chloe’s attention and they poked around a bit to pry it open.

They found a journal. “More equations,” she said.

“It’s advanced calculus. Why would he be a janitor here and not a human computer at NASA?” Lucifer said.

“Does NASA still have those? He must have his reasons.” Chloe stated.

“Oh,” Lucifer said putting down the note book.

“What is it?” Chloe asked.

“His calculations had to do with radiation on Mars but stopped on something that could be dangerous in the wrong hands. It’s not finished, I could finish it, however I won’t. The desire to go to Mars is not worth the destruction of humankind.”

“That is not for you to decide,” Said a diplomat Lucifer spoke to earlier in a thick accent. He had a gun pointed at Chloe and Lucifer moved to be in front of her to protect.

“Is this weapon really necessary?” Lucifer asked in the diplomats own language. Chloe tried to move around him but Lucifer prevented that from happening.

“When your President declares my country a threat we need a way to protect ourselves.” He said in English.

“By stealing a janitor’s incomplete work and murdering him for it?” Chloe said.

“Your partner can finish it. He even admitted it. The janitor’s death was unfortunate. He would have been treated like royalty in my country but he turned us down. He couldn’t have been too smart. I mean pineapple on a pizza?”

“Pizza toppings aside this won’t end well for you,” Lucifer’s voice was low and threatening. 

“No. You and her. You go to desk finish janitor’s work then I let you live I promise.”

He was lying Lucifer didn’t need his powers to tell that. He looked at Chloe who was still behind him then charged at the diplomat. Shots were fired but in the end the diplomat was on the ground and Lucifer had the weapon. Lucifer was shot in the arm and Chloe fired a single shot at the diplomat incapacitating him but leaving him alive. The shots brought party goers and security to them.

“I am a doctor,” Neil offered to Lucifer.

“I need a real doctor.” He then looked at Chloe, “How much of an imbecile can one man be?”

Chloe was explaining the events that happened to the security team but went with Lucifer to the hospital.

During the ambulance ride Lucifer tried to ease the detectives worries with a song. The full moon shining brightly through the ambulance window.

You must remember this

A kiss is just a kiss

A sigh is just a sigh

The fundamental things apply

As time goes by

And when two lovers woo

They still say "I love you"

On that you can rely

No matter what the future brings

As time goes by

Moonlight and love songs

Never out of date

Hearts full of passion

Jealousy and hate

Woman needs man, and man must have his mate

That no one can deny

It's still the same old story

A fight for love and glory

A case of do or die

The world will always welcome lovers

As time goes by

Moonlight and love songs

Never out of date

Hearts full of passion

Jealousy and hate

Woman needs man, and man must have his mate

That no one can deny

It's still the same old story

A fight for love and glory

A case of do or die

The world will always welcome lovers

As time goes by

The ambulance workers were very professional but couldn’t help but see the look of love and devotion in Lucifer’s eyes as he serenaded Chloe. Lucifer might not be good at expressing emotion but Chloe knew exactly what he was telling her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if this should have been a separate story in itself but I just made it a 2nd chapter. The song is Britt Nicole "Through Your Eyes"

Lucifer stayed in the hospital only a few hours before he left. Chloe insisted on spending the night with Lucifer at Lux to make sure he takes it easy. Dan still had Trixie. Chloe didn’t want to put a strain on Lucifer’s arm but did agree to sleep in the same bed as him. She borrowed one of his white dress shirts to sleep in. Lucifer drove Chloe to her home the next morning to change and shower before work.

Once they arrived at the station Dan was with a group of other cops. He dropped Trixie off at school.

“Lucifer!” Dan said overly cheery tone. “All consultants need to take this test as part of a recertification thing. Takes 2 hours. Do you have the time?”

“I just have to give a statement with the Captain first,” Lucifer said.

“Sure, go right in he is waiting for you,” Dan said.

“What test Dan?” Chloe asked after Lucifer left.

“A few of us pitched in to pay the fee for the Mensa test. Johnson’s wife is a certified proctor.” Dan points to the break room area where she was.

“Why?” Chloe questions.

“To prove he is fooling us. He thinks he is so smart, this test might knock his smug ass down a peg. We have bets on if he will qualify. I say no.” Dan explains.

“$20 on that he will,” Chloe finally said.

Dan sighed in relief he figured she would put a stop to it.

“Captain is in on it.” Dan thumbs up to the break room area and they cheer and high five each other.

Lucifer sat down at the empty desk as directed by the captain in the guest office. Johnson’s wife was on the couch reading a book. “This part is timed. Called WONDERLIC you have 12 minuets to answer as many of the 50 questions as possible. Here if you have questions.”

He was allowed a scrap paper but didn’t seem to need it and after 10 mins he had answered all 50 questions answered. Did he ever mention to anyone that he was a speed reader?

The proctor looked over the test. Made note of the blank work sheet.

The proctor explains, “the second test consists of 120 questions divided into seven sections. Before that starts, I will read a story and you will have to answer questions about said story at some point before the end of the test. Scrap paper isn't allowed, nor is written note-taking of any kind.”

“Witness statements? A test of memory?” Lucifer questions.

The proctor reads the story and the next section given. More math problems, word definitions

Then finally two dozen or so questions on the short story read almost 30 minutes ago.

Lucifer got all of them correct. He remembered everything from the protagonists Mother’s name to the color dress she had on and what her Polish fiancé said to her in his native tongue. He needed to do well on it to continue working with the detective he thought.

Lucifer got up after the test was finished and decided to bug Ella. Ella knew about the test and reluctantly betted in Lucifer’s success. 

The Captain called Chloe, Lucifer and Dan in the office along with the proctor. Lucifer invited Ella since they were talking.

“We might have lied to you,” Dan started.

“We?” questioned Chloe eyes narrowing.

“O.K the Captain and I,” Dan corrected.

“We had you take the Mensa IQ test. To see if you were in the right department. There might have been a bet to see if you would get in” He tried to justify.

“You could have just asked.” Lucifer said.

“Would you have taken it?”

“No. I do not trust elitist organization not open to everyone. I do not want my name on ANY list”, Lucifer said.

“Besides, I do not need a test to tell me I am smart or not. Did you win or lose this bet?” He asked.

“Depends, how did he do?” Chloe asked already getting excited.

“Do you care if I share?” The proctor asked.

“Go ahead,” Lucifer was aware Chloe liked the smart guy. This would only be in his favor.

“He obtained at least a 198/200 as a final score. It is probably higher the computer will determine that, but he is in the 99th percentile. Newton was capped at 190, Einstein 160” Mrs. Johnson started.

“Who do you think tossed the Apple on his head? I mean Apples did become my trademark I just went with it. It took a lot of apples to the head before he finally got it.”

“Forget Ross Geller you are like Dr. Who!” Ella determined.

“Is that the one with the Weeping Angel? I have seen that one,” Lucifer replied.

“What? Never mind. on the WONDERLIC he answered all 50 questions in less than 12 mins and correctly. A perfect score is almost unheard of on it. The third part about the story read earlier perfect score. On the second part, he got every question right except one,” Mrs. Johnson continued.

“Dammit, God isn’t supposed to give with both hands,” Daniel muttered in annoyance.

“Already damned Daniel. That rule doesn’t apply to his children. Which one did I get wrong?” Lucifer asked curious on what he didn’t know.

“It was of the word association. I’ll read the question then give the answer.”

Love: Unconditional as ____, is to ____

A. Hope: despair

B. Real: Fake

C. Supply: Endless

D. Truth: Charity

The Captain, Dan, Ella and Chloe all said C. The proctor nodded her head a little sadly. She heard Lucifer rumors from her husband. He paints him as a party boy – especially after he helped interview his lovers. She saw him as a lonely man trying to find comfort his family never gave.

“What did he select?” Ella asked.

Lucifer adjusted his cuff links debating the quickest way to flee.

“B. real is to fake. No one ever loved me. Let alone unconditionally. It doesn’t exist.” Lucifer said.

“Man, it exists. Chloe and I love Trixie unconditionally. Most parents do,” Dan said sadly.

“Yeah, until she disagrees with you and you kick her out,” Lucifer argued.

“She already disagrees with us. Also, says no. Have you ever dealt with a pre-teen? We would never kick her out. She could stay with us till she is 30 and beyond if she wants,” Chloe said.

“That has not been my experience,” Lucifer said getting up ready to leave.

He was stopped by Ella who hugged him. “Sometimes family is who your friends are. Who you choose them to be. You will always have us.”

Lucifer didn’t hug her back, “that has not been my experience. When my past acquaintances discover who my Father is they all abandoned me. Even Dr. Linda at a time I needed her. If Maze wasn’t as tenacious as she was well I doubt she would have come around.” Lucifer left to go to Lux he needed to be alone.

“Who is his Father?” The Captain asked.

Everyone shrugged.

“If I ever meet him. I will punch him in his face,” Chloe vowed.

“I will look the other way,” promises the Captain.

\---

Chloe finishes her shift and goes to check on Lucifer. She finds him at the penthouse reading a book. Chloe smiles at him as he finishes the page and closes the book.

“Drink?” He offers already pouring her usual drink. Chloe accepted.

“Dan has Trixie again tonight,” Chloe stated

“Ah you want to have sex with someone who qualifies for Mensa?”

“No, I wanted to be here with you. I know you had an emotional day and you don’t handle emotions well,” Chloe started. Not that she didn’t want to, she thought.

“We were taught to suppress emotion. Be the perfect soldier.”

That explains a lot. Why he relied on Dr. Linda to explain ‘human’ interactions. Also, why when Dr. Linda rejected him when he ‘broke’ her he spiraled out of control.

“I am here for you as a friend or more if we want to be more that is. We have been through a lot together. Why don’t we just spend time together we can have dinner, cuddle and sleep together – without expectations.”

“Cuddle? I guess there is a first time for everything. I can order out dinner if you like.”

Lucifer knew what cuddling was there was an entire porn section for it. Since the only touch he has been given was sex or pain (sometime at the same time) he was curious and visited it on occasion.

Lucifer was practically vibrating in excitement by the time dinner arrived. Chloe knew but didn’t say anything. It was sad as sexually active he was no one offered or asked if he wanted to cuddle.

After dinner Chloe lead him to the couch and put his head in her lap. Playing with his hair and touching him occasionally on the arm shoulder, back and chest. Lucifer for his part was doing his best to relax but he still seemed tensed, guarded even.

“Just close your eyes and picture your happiest time,” Chloe said.

Lucifer didn’t tell her but this was his happiest time. No one has ever taken such care of him. “You are a good person. You deserve Love. Let us love you,” Chloe said. Lucifer did relax after that.

Eventually they retired to the bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms. Despite the bed being bigger than a California King they took up less space than a twin.

The next day was Taco Tuesday and Chloe insisted that he came over. Dan was unfortunately going but so was Maze. Lucifer watched the interaction between Dan and Trixie and Trixie and Chloe. It was so different than his family. There was care, understanding, choices, love. Dan was getting the ingredients ready and let Trixie help even if it wasn’t perfect. Perfection didn’t matter as long as everyone was happy, Lucifer observed. His father never cared if he was happy or not. He just wanted him to follow orders.

At one point Trixie was annoyed at the plate she was given and whined, “Not enough cheese, too many beans.” Instead of yelling or sending her to her room Dan simply swapped plates with her without anger.

Lucifer was on the couch waiting to be served when Maze sat next to him. “Weird, right? To see something so normal.” Lucifer nodded but didn’t say anything. They didn’t stay separated from the group long before Trixie pulled them in.

\--

Wednesday, Lux was closed for inventory to prepare for the weekend. So, Lucifer found himself doing dreaded paperwork. That’s how they found him when Ella, Dan, Dr. Linda, Maze, Chloe and Trixie came in. Trixie with a chocolate cake with Happy Birthday Lucifer written on it. The others with some decorations and boxes.

“Happy Birthday!” Trixie said.

“Oh, is it? I forgot. Well a party is better than paperwork.” It was the date of his rebirth. When he celebrated leaving Hell for good.

“Can you play something, while they set up? I rarely get to hear you.” Trixie requested.

“Sure,” Lucifer got up from his desk stretched and walked to the piano.

Get it together

That's what I said to me

I put on the pressure

You could do better

Be who you supposed to be

But that's when you came in

Right when I needed you

Said all of the things that I was believing

Not one of them were true

The decorator’s stopped to listen. None of them heard Lucifer play this song before.

You're lifting my head up

I was keeping my head down

I didn't know love

But I do now

He thought of Taco night and observing Dan with Trixie and of Chloe’s cuddles and Ella’s friends can be family speech and her hug.

Cause You stood right there

And then You broke apart the lies

You told me I had something beautiful inside

You brought to life the part of me I thought had died

Cause You stood right there until I saw me

I saw me through Your eyes (Saw me)

I saw me through Your eyes (Saw me)

I saw me through Your eyes

So this is living

This is free

Not keeping score

Not anymore

Not since you rescued me

No deals among friends and these people are perhaps his first friends ever. Even Maze is more of a friend now than employee.

You're lifting my head up

I was keeping my head down

I didn't know love

But I do now

Cause You stood right there

And then You broke apart the lies

You told me I had something beautiful inside

You brought to life the part of me I thought had died

Cause You stood right there until I saw me

I saw me through Your eyes (Saw me)

I saw me through Your eyes (Saw me)

You love me even when I fall apart

I can't explain it

That's just who you are

Don't want perfection

You just want my heart

Cause You stood right there (You stood right there!)

And then You broke apart the lies (Yeah!)

You told me I had something beautiful inside

You brought to life the part of me I thought had died

Cause You stood right there until I saw me

I saw me through Your eyes

I saw me through Your eyes

Lucifer ended it to applause. Ella walked over to hug him which he returned.

“That was good! Now sing something from Disney,” Trixie commanded.

“Maybe later Monkey. We did invite some of the other officers. Some felt bad for betting on you and decided to put it together for a gift,” Dan said.

“Hope us inviting folks is okay we told them it was low key since Trixie is here.”

“The more the merrier. Should I call in a DJ?” Lucifer offered.

“Nope, I got the tunes picked out. It’s on a play list,” Dan said. Lucifer looked horrified. Trixie giggled at his face and snapped a pic with her phone.

The party was tame. Lucifer wisely didn’t bring out the drugs in a room full of cops and a couple of children. A lot tamer than what Lucifer was use to but still fun. He enjoyed spending it with his friends all who wanted to be with him no expectations. Johnson and his wife showed up and they brought their son who apparently was in Trixie’s class.

Chloe spent the night partly as a birthday surprise planned and because she wanted sex (she had a naughty cop costume). Well he did just prove he was smarter than Einstein.


End file.
